Who am I?
I’m Rachael, 34, I’m a geek with mental health issues. I’ve suffered with social anxiety and depression for the best part of 6 years. I’ve gone though anxiety attacks, days when I couldn’t leave my bed and been scared to read the phone notifications. There have been times when I’ve been socially isolated and drunkenly embarrassed myself all with my mental health somewhat erratic!
I also have tattoos, piercings, am a massive geek especially for all things horror and am a ‘Tom boy’. I love animals (hate spiders), gin, sleeping, sarcasm, and snuggling with my cats!
I’ve been faced with judgement, stereotyping, bullying and manipulation from strangers, ‘friends’ and work colleagues for years.
Over the past 6 years I’ve had a change of jobs, tried CBT (twice) , bullet journalling, meditation, medication and mindfulness. Turned my hand to reading books, counselling, cut negative people out of my life, left myself positive notes and affirmations. I celebrated to come off meds, commiserated when I started back on meds and accepted that this was just fine. I’m still trying and working toward my ultimate goal of having some self esteem and confidence.
I’m also here to say it’s okay to not be okay and it’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to stand out from the crowd, it’s okay to like the things you do and most importantly;
IT‘S OKAY TO BE YOU!
Mental health awareness is getting bigger and better each year but the stigma is still there. People are still too scared to be honest with themselves, ask for help or be happy with who they are.
I want to combine my dedication of mental health awareness with celebrating my love of the geek world, which has often helped me in my lowest of days. I know that comic books, conventions, Characters, games, and more have helped others cope with and understand their mental health a lot more.
Having something to geek about doesn’t make us sad, it makes us happy. Why would anyone want to mock anyone else for being happy?
So, in the words of Alan Partridge:
“What’s de big oidea?“
In an attempt to try to find an ounce of self confidence and self esteem and through the power of creating my first ever videos and accompanying blogs I will lead by example. I will share my own experiences, my ups and downs, my triggers and self care.
There will be 4 main topics for these, to keep things a little varied :
1 – General Mental Health – I’ll discuss national/global mental health days /weeks, events going on, my thoughts on therapies, books and medications etc I’ve tried
2 – Geek Positivity in Mental Health – What geeky things have had a positive effect on my mental health such as Conventions, Pokemon Go, MCU, Podcasts, and more..
3 – My Favourite Geek Outs – A general geek out about my favourite collections, movies, people, music, merchandise, Podcasts, conventions, gigs etc
4 – Catch up and celebrations – an almost diary type entry for an update as to how I’ve been feeling, how I’ve coped, celebrate any successes and what I’ve been watching/listening to.
So, now you know about me, The Geek, and my struggle with mental illnesses, The Beast.
I’ve plenty of other plans for future ideas to try with this project and I hope you join me on my journey to help myself and (hopefully) other people too.
You can also find me on TikTok ( @TheGeekAndTheBeast) & YouTube ( The Geek & The Beast)
Stay strong, Stay positive, stay you
Love, Ray X
P.s Boom Shanka x